“The letter J wasn’t invented until 1630"

On the other hand, we really do need to kill tipping culture. It IS ridiculous that server A makes $2 bucks for pouring a $10 shot while server B makes $50 doing the exact same work pouring a $250 shot.

“Witch hunt! No Trasnfusion!!!”

it was also published in 1994, not 2011, and has nothing to do with michael crichton.

Cook Out is the best! When you get two sides with a combo AND one can be a frickin’ CORN DOG, you know you’re at the right place.

Gregg was blindsided by the news.

The number of Dems who haven’t signed the CRA make up only 8 percent of House Democrats. Conversely, if you could convince just 8 percent of House Republicans to sign it, that would be a miracle.

Seriously with this question? The sign doesn’t mean you check the phone at the coat check. If your phone rings (or vibrates) get up from the table and take the call outside. Which is exactly what you should do even without a damn sign on the door

Indubidubly the slipped creeper is no bono, as my Messican friends would say.  -  ES

Crypt Keeper is not good.  We need Emmitt Smith back.

Cryptkeeper Al Davis is so, so, soooooo stupid, and yet I laugh my ass off reading it in the Cryptkeeper’s voice, which is the whole point.

And that Dez Phantom of the Opera thing is a thing that needs to happen in real life.

Cheers to Lauren and Laura for 1. calling this asshole out and 2. being able to publicly laugh it off.

To be fair, they have the “DO NOT TOUCH” in quotes, so the didn’t really mean it.

Wouldn’t that be more of a CIA thing?

When will people hold their representatives, as in “YOU ARE REPRESENTING US, THE PEOPLE OF YOUR DISTRICT, YOUR STATE!”, to actually answering questions and acting responsibly and respectfully, as opposed to just electing whoever the party throws in front of you because, well, we need to hold/takeover the house/senate.

If the pitcher throws it up and in and the batter ducks out of the way but it still hits the bat, it’s considered a foul ball. How is this different? 

So if I square to bunt, then pull the bat back and hit a screaming line drive barely foul, I’m out because no matter what happens after I square, it’s still a bunt? I don't think so.

The only real piece of shit here is you. The man did more for this country than your stupid ass sitting on the couch. 

Also, if your ex already has a new guy two weeks after leaving you, she was probably fooling around with him long before she left and was looking for something like this to happen so she could justify moving out like she already wanted to. Sounds like this relationship was doomed long before the Chiefs lost.

CAROLINA BARBECUE OR NOTHING AND FUCK YOUR BRISKET!