Because often it's just more work.

James Joyce is alive and well, and he's being paid by the click.

If I ever win the lottery, I swear, I will pay William Shatner to recite the lyrics to this song.

Do hetero women ever say: "I only take big dicks."

A group calling itself "Conservative University" has a grand total of three videos up, all bashing feminism? I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you!

Just a hint for your next video: if you want to have either a debate or an "uncomfortable conversation" about something, you need more than one person involved. As it stands, I'm not entirely sure to call what I just watched, so I will refer to it as "uncomfortable quacking."

Your mom makes $100 an hour working on the corner.

I believe that "keep pounding away on a bad idea until something comes of it" is how Tommy Wiseau made "The Room," and is why Octomom has 14 children.

And yet Count Chocula and Frankenberry still won't publicly acknowledge they've shared the same castle for over four decades now. We've come so far, but we're not there yet, people.

I wish I played a musical instrument, because "The Smaller Triangle Of Acceptable Men" would be a fantastic name for a band.

None of these weapons were the result of an arms race, either, as is the case in Bioware's MMO Star Wars: The Old Republic where both sides are trying to outdo each other. Most of these superweapons are Imperial things created during the movie era, and apparently totally unnecessary since they weren't used until much…

Sure. Why should religion get all the crazy bullshit stories?

Okay, how about "it was a performance piece, but some performance pieces totally suck"?

Nah, never mind. Shia's an idiot.

I just finished it, and I believe it could easily replace every motivational bestseller ever. It is an awe-inspiring tribute to the power of believing in your dreams. Even if, in fact, your dreams are INSANE. I now have a weird respect for the Juggernaut that is Wiseau that I didn't before.

Will your Mom be my friend?

Woo hoo! First the United States elected a black president and solves racism forever, now this! Next up: a cow is elected chairman of the United Nations and we all turn vegan! The Revolution is over, time to pack up and go home everyone.

Even better when you listen to this while watching it:

Ah, that second video. Nothing makes me go on a stabbing spree more than a Nickleback song.

I'm no engineer, but I've lived in Calgary. The place gets some ridiculous, crazy-ass wind gust sometimes. I always assumed that the signs along Deerfoot Trail were designed to flex rather than break. Or, maybe you've just had to put up with the crappy weather there a lot to even think that way...

I can hardly wait to test this on my porn collection!