I don’t recall anyone doing so

$10 says the human DNA was the result of injuries on the production line. 10 to 1 odds on an asshole supervisor keeping the line running anyway so they didn’t have to throw the batch and lose profit, 5 to 1 odds on the worker concealing the contamination because they weren’t following safety protocols (with a wink…

Not a successful one if you eat these vegetarian dogs tho :/

....WHO HAS TIME FOR THIS.
*Squeezes last dregs of box wine bag into mouth*

Waiting to feel a tongue SNAP under your teeth is so gross omg I can’t take it (not that he didn’t deserve it.)

Well, actually, retardation and impulse-disorder-causing-brain-damage is a reasonable answer to the question, “did he know what he was doing”. This is why the good lord made court-appointed analysts and doctors. Need to see wut’s wut, if we’re at all civilized.

My go to curse is: May every step you take feel like you’re walking on Legos.

How motherfucking ignorant do you have to be to think that “maitre” is two separate words? Maitre means “master” in French - maitre d’[hotel] is literally master of the house, which should at least be somewhat familiar to anyone who’s seen Les Miserables. “Mai tre” means fuck all, unless you’re deliberately going for…

“He has an incentive to give me exceptional service, not some mediocre minimum”

That’s too large for a single baby? I was expecting the comments to be about how she is too thin for a pregnant woman. And it’s the opposite? Have these people ever seen a woman pregnant with twins before? They are HUUUUUUGGGEEEE. They could be the skinniest, tiniest little women but their “baby bump” looks like they…

Wait, really?? Isn’t the “extreme caloric restriction” probably what causes the weight loss? Versus the weird pregnancy pee?

Exactly. He was in the backyard of a private residence in a secluded location and had a reasonable expectation of privacy. I don’t think we’d apply quite the same logic to the paparazzi who took photos of kate middleton topless on a balcony. Photo below estimates the positions of photographer and celebrity in that…

Watch Chelsea Peretti’s stand up. I like lots of female comedians, but I agree with this. It’s too easy to fall back on old tropes like that and female comedians needs to challenge themselves more. (But I would also say just about every fat male comedian has a series of jokes about being fat and out of shape, and I…

I kinda feel bad about movies like this cuz they so, so want to be that cute movie that everyone loves, but you just can’t make that magic automatically happen.

Go to Prague, check out sedlec ossuary in nearby Kunta Hora. Enjoy the much more creative use of thousands of skeletons, and your savings in money and sanity from not having to deal with Paris and Parisians. You’re welcome.

Amenities include:

It’s nothing like a selfie-at-Auschwitz. The people there weren’t put there through genocide. They weren’t murdered on site. They were dead already. It’s like bunking at a cemetery. Only the grave yard is under ground.

I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free.

That last line is a garbage opinion. The garbagiest.

I think I saw this movie cuz Orlando Bloom and I remember thinking it was the most boring movie ever.