When will America learn that large, public easter egg hunts are not that fun for children 99% of the time? I get that when you don’t have a yard it’s harder to give them that experience at home, but even an indoor hunt with actual hidden eggs is probably gonna be more entertaining than just a field where some people…

OMG that would be the first thing I told anyone who came into my home. And then I’d offer to show them the video.

Tom Sawyer’s Island in Disneyland, the lookout point at the headland north of the Golden Gate, Coit Tower, the rotating restaurant at the top of the Bonaventure in LA, several places in the Midway museum in San Diego, all. fucking. over. Balboa Park, The Crystal Cathedral while it was still a church, on top of Half…

Wait, kids get damaged if they’re in a place where people previously had sex? Be right back, gotta chase the kids of the couch, and the bed, and the bath, aw damn, gotta buy a whole new house. But then someone else probably had sex there too. Is there nowhere that's safe for the children?

Exactly! It’s mandated by law that my female coworkers and I get 5 days of paid sick leave a month for our “periods.” We spend them drinking cosmos, inventing fake diseases, and plotting ways to better emasculate and subjugate men. And don’t even get me started on pregnancy, the biggest grift of all.

Yes, it’s right up there with erectile dysfunction in the made up shit list.

Oh honey. Is this supposed to be trolling? It’s so bad.

I hope Avril is okay, but Lyme Disease is my favorite conspiracy of ALL TIME.

Is it really a disease when a woman gets it?

No.

I have my eye on something like these for my October wedding. Or maybe just some gold flats.

Gosh...I can only imagine finding out on your wedding night that your husband is terrible in bed, and b/c of that, you're DOOMED to a life of awful sex. Unless you choose to be unfaithful that is, which is also "unacceptable". I personally think its kinda unfair to get married to (expecting a LIFETIME w/) someone…

Ohhh she had been gone for so long. Glad to see she and her perfect marriage are back. Hilarious troll is hilarious.

I knew he was 6'4".

You know what? Keanu Reeves.

One of my bosses at a large department stores wasn't entirely horrible, but she was really privileged. One day a few of us workers were in the break room, and a friend was saying that her brother was saving up to buy a notebook computer for his classes.

They don't fuck because she has vowed to not have intercourse until she's in a committed relationship.

Of course it's selfish if she's demanding oral sex on her part. Just because you were treated like crap in a previous relationship doesn't give you the right to treat the next person like crap. If so, then I would have ever4y right to cheat on my girlfriend, cuz I was cheated on and didn't get my share in.

You know what? I almost don't blame them. I bet those things are annoying.

Of course it is less addictive. I sometimes think I am addicted, but when I run dry, I just live my life as normal. My medical card expired a few weeks ago for example, and I haven't even made an appointment to get another one.