"It was so weird when it was about penis. Now that it's about our mutual leakage, I feel much better."

"What a relief, I thought this stranger was creepily telling me about her boyfriend but it was just an innocuous conversation about her leaking bladder all along. Best friends forever!"

This is kind of the same thing.

He has been fined $2.5MM dollars, banned for life from any games/practices/public appearances and business ventures with the Clippers. His ownership is going to be voted on by the other owners. If 3/4 agree with it, his team will be put up for sale. Support for this from other owners is overwhelming.

Too distracted by how 90's the denim bucket hat is.

I could put together a montage of her in a leotard with her legs open, but I still understand that the majority of her messages are fairly decent ones.

Yeah, but she isn't white so it doesn't count.

Actually Lous CK has no idea what he's fucking talking about. We are born with implicit, nonverbal memory and these memories get lit up as adults all.the.time. Since they were encoded before the left brain, explicit, narrative parts of our brains come online, they are remembered nonverbally, in a "felt sense". And we…

There is nothing in this world more ugly than someone who wants to prevent a person from reading a book or trying to ban one. Usually they're ill-informed pearl clutching busybodies who haven't even read the text in question. It's one of the most small minded little evils.

I will watch it if they base it on the lost gospel of Biff, Christ's childhood pal:

"God, Dad, Me...you just don't understand!"

See ya, Beiber!

That is the lesson you learned from seeing someone die right in front of you—handshakes are time-consuming? Graduations are money schemes? Parents annoy?

This is hilarious. I am graduating (law school; yay me!) in a couple weeks, and it never would have occurred to me in a gazillion years to take a SELFIE AS I WAS CROSSING THE STAGE. That's what people in the audience with cameras are for. In related news, I am An Old.

Did he at least get to change his last name while he was in Heaven with the forever babies and God's Fire Sword?

Two things. First, Guy Fieri is a human brillo pad. Second, Guy Fieri needs to stop using the word "wicked." Just because he came to New England a few times for his stupid "Diners and Dives" show does not give him the right use "wicked" as a way to spice up his douchebag menu descriptions. Fucking stop it, Guy. You…

Glad when you see an article about rape and silence in MLB the first thing you think of is what kind of a joke you can tell. Really insightful and important commentary. I don't think your "joke" or rape are funny, if you can't handle it why don't you not peddle your shitty jokes on the internet where other people can…

Just like being blackout drunk doesn't justify killing someone while driving, it doesn't justify raping someone either.

Rape-apologist trolls are among the worst trolls.

I suspect that redemption requires one to acknowledge and apologize and make amends for the things in your past that require redemption.