The football team scurries for cover. The band plays on.

I watched this clip this morning. It rings true with a philosophy that I've been following ever since I saw the Raisins episode of South Park - you can't truly be happy if you're never sad. Life is about contrast.

Can you imagine how successful Peterson would have been against Terrell Owens?

These are the same assholes who probably own a Trung Canidate jersey.

Most of those calls are coming from rural Virginia, where they've always preferred to wed themselves to Cousins.

its actually not different because its a cartoon and nobody cares.

My favorite juice glass from childhood has never been more appropriate.

How else is Papa John's supposed to move two million free pizzas?

He didn't mean to imply Coach K was there, he was simply citing him as an expert on blowing your seed.

The shank was justified.

On the Jets, being an asshole in someone's face makes you a great option to start at Right Guard.

The worst person in this scenario is the one who decided to make a video in portrait mode.

Maybe he just hears someone scream IN YOUR FACE a lot at home?

This is what happens when Robbie Fowler is your AD.

So you see, the player who is supposed to play first base has the very unlikely name of "Who". So, in fact, Who is on first base. The name of the player on first base is "Who". Now looking at second base...

You know who else wants to know? Cubans.

These Zodiac Killer letters are just getting more and more desperate.