Never cut off a truckers semi.

Giffin: That kid was back here again...

I have just one question.

"These woods over here?"

I've invited Harman into Kinja in case he wants to share any specific instances of plagiarism.

Give me Stroopwafels or give me death.

In true Arnold Palmer fashion, it was actually half poop and half pee.

You forgot an important positive for canned beer: when you throw the empties out of your car window you do not create a hazard for the children walking on the sidewalk.

Presented without farther comment

"After reciting the letter Z," the officer wrote, "Irsay recited the lettering I, N and G."

As an IU fan and alum, I support this decision. Not out of any sense of historical superiority, but mostly because it means I don't ever have to watch this team again.

Barry, you probably want to advise your readers Googling Lindsey Duke is NSFW if they need to get up from their desk within the next 45 minutes. just sayin'.

When Ray Rice hits up one woman, it's a big controversy. But when two white guys hit up seven of them, the reaction is Bless these men? Thought we were post-racial. GUESS NOT.

someone should post that "in rod we trust" picture from the simpsons

Normally, this would come as a complete shock. But for Charlie Villanueva, it didn't even raise an eyebrow.

You took a major spill and owned up to it with class. Essentially, you are the complete opposite of British Petroleum. Kudos.

I wonder how many runners they had to ask to talk about running before finding these two brave souls.

Hey man, don't let all the joke haters get you down. Stand your ground.

Despite not being in any sort of physical danger, Zimmerman still plans to shoot DMX.

This is why you don't throw your bath salts out in the regular trash.