Can you be my life coach?

Minimalism makes my condo look tidier than my girlfriend’s house but really I’m just better at hiding shit in closets. On a side note does anyone need like 20 years of computer parts?

Can I trade you cus for cousin? I’ve got a big family, and it’s a very useful word.

Yes?

Yup, opinion. You don’t have to justify it to me, and I’m allowed to have one too.

I’m 30 years old living in Canada, and hardly have any idea who Whitney Houston was. Just because you think it should be important, doesn’t mean it is important.

In sleep he sang to me
In dreams he came
That voice which calls to me
And speaks my name
And do I dream again?
For now I find
The phantom of the opera is there
Inside my mind

It’s not even a even ratio... It’s 75% of the height and 74.324% of the width... What kind of monster would do this? I feel like I’m going to be sick.

How has everyone not already learned this important lesson from Zootopia? Otters are predators!

But will it understand what I want if I ask Siri to turn it to 11.

The difference between asparagus and the president of the United States is that it’ll be rotten within two days of being bought, the asparagus usually lasts four days.

I put the important thing I need to take with me on top of my shoes. It is important to note that my shoes are set out for the following day though.

Running two sets of tires costs almost nothing! If you run two sets, they get half the wear, and thus last twice as long. Your only expense should be a set of winter rims, after that you just need to change the tires in October and March to stay ahead of the seasons. So instead of buying a set of tires every 3-5…

And tragically even The Boring Company’s Not a Flamethrower is unavailable, because that would be another great overkill option.

And tragically even The Boring Company’s Not a Flamethrower is unavailable, because that would be another great…

MAPP is dangerous, do not cook with it, it should never be ingested. Butane (or Propane) is extremely safe, you’ll get a perfectly clean burn with the only byproducts being water and carbon dioxide. That’s why Butane torches are the culinary standard :)

MAPP is dangerous, do not cook with it, it should never be ingested. Butane (or Propane) is extremely safe, you’ll…

Nice list! Might I also recommend:

Nice list! Might I also recommend:

I dislocated my left wrist twice and tore a muscle in my shoulder. I can’t do pushups or really any heavy lifting for a few months at least. It was directly attributed to overexerting myself with exercises. My fault, I should have been more careful.

Okay, this is what I was wondering. I haven’t felt ANY need to defend the orange-in-chief but when I saw this list my first reaction was “I would expect he has a whole team of people to make sure he doesn’t screw this up, anyone in his position should”. So I thought that this might be a rather normal thing. I’m glad…

Lemon Spirulina Flow sounds like a UTI.

It seems the best time for my girlfriend to text me is when I’m working out, and a one hour workout will then take twice as long to finish. I absolutely mute my phone for that hour, although she does take it as a slight against her.