This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

Several years ago I was at an "art show" with friends (there was art there, but we were concentrating on listening to music and getting drunk) and a guy that I had been casually dating walked in. Now, we were not exclusive, and that was fine with me. I chatted with him and our other friends a bit, then he went off to…

When I was 12 a Clinique counter woman taught me most of what I know about wearing make-up. She was so nice. I didn't have a mom who could teach me make-up things so instead I went with friends to one of the department stores at the mall. I felt like everyone else had learned everything there was to know from their…

I totally disagree with this philosophy. You should never - as a consumer - feel obligated to supply someone else's commission if you are not ready to purchase something.

I actually went to a MAC counter for the first time ever this week for eyebrow products. The girl was so damn lovely, and specifically asked what products/looks I wanted to try out. She then did one side of my face and taught me how to do the other. Actually because she was so nice I bought brushes and a lipstick I…

Holy shit! I'm so glad the Clinique woman took pity.

What is with these women? They all look fucking gorgeous without makeup. It's not fair.

Fuck that other saleswoman. You buy some shit if you feel like it.

Ughhh. I had a similar thing happen at MAC, when a boyfriend took me to the mall for valentine's day and told me he'd buy me whatever makeup I wanted. I got a free makeover and, knowing that the "free" implies "you should really buy some shit," semi-reluctantly decided to get two eyeshadows and two eyeliners. For…

It's seriously one of my favorite stories now but it was SO TRAUMATIZING back then, that woman was evil incarnate. She had to be new at it or under some sort of sales quota that she was close to missing, or maybe she was just the worst person ever? I remember I had sparkly emerald green eyeshadow up to my eyebrow. On…

Best (by which I mean worst) experience ever, I was maybe 16 or 17 and wanted a new eyeshadow. I forget what counter I went to but the woman basically did half of my face, full-on club makeup and then refused to do the other half unless I bought something. I really didn't want the $20+ eyeshadow she was pushing so I…

I wear makeup every day (not schlubby at home days, obvs) and I did not previously believe myself to be unusual in that, and yet somehow this whole series has been populated by women who wear almost no makeup on the regular. I feel like I must be a unicorn. But since I had no idea that I was alone in makeup wearing,…

Heh. A jackass in college who stalked me was dumb enough to get between hypoglycemic me and the cafeteria when I hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours. I shoved the sod into the wall hard enough that he bounced. The stalking stopped after that...

Not to mention how many of them are structured to make it look like the WOMAN is being awful. Like, ugh, what a stuck up bitch! She wants to keep dating her stable seeming handsome doctor boyfriend instead of this zany type who keeps showing up every goddamn where she goes? WOMenzzz!

Absolutely! I used to love romantic comedies and now I kind of cringe by how much agency is removed from the woman by the end in so many. I get that they're fantasy, but it's like "that's an adult who chose someone else. You're going to have to let it go, not jump in a river as a grand gesture."

And to those people I say: My mom went out with my dad because she wanted to meet my dad's roommate. He badgered her into dating him. He had to badger her into marrying him.

They fucking hate each other. It sounds romantic from the outside, but it is not. cute. up. close.

A good portion of the comments:

I have a 15 year love affair with the " Dubai Eye ". My Hubby told me 2 days ago that I need to stop doing my make up " like an angry middle schooler " ( he thought it was funny. I did not ). This weekend we are going to the Mall for a make over where he has promised to buy all of the winning look for making such a…