Pfft. What do you think the University of Alabama is? A place of higher education?

Guessing you probably don't earn points for going to class or the library.

Holy shit man, “pay college athletes” isn’t a Democratic or Republican position. This is such sanctimonious bullshit.

You got me in the first half not gonna lie

This is one of the simplest and best things I have read on Deadspin in a while. 

Real talk - this was simple and elegant. Thank you. 

I hope his accuracy was better than 46%.

Not without giving up your amateur triangle-clicking status.

You couldn’t pay me to click that triangle. 

if they’re looking for candidates, i know a guy who has a baseball background as a player and a business background as an exec for a video game company. he’s also got a real handle on social media and can probably procure state funding like a badass.

He’s a WNBA ref. It’s totally possible that he has a day job.

his wife

Doesn’t Kevin Fahey know HE’S supposed to be the one who gets hand jobbed?

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

By the looks of it, that was the first time a girl ever touched him...

Not all conservatives are racist, but all hardcore racists are conservative/libertarian. 

Bye, Isaiah.

I’m an Eagles fan. My coworker is a Cowboys fans.
About the only thing we agree on regarding football is that we both LOVE Dan Snyder and hope he continues to own the Skins for a very long time.

Two playoff wins and three division titles in only 19 years? Sounds like a glorious run!