4,593 Feet Of Penis would have been a way better title.

Assuming an average penis length of 5.5 inches (the first number I found (I'm not going to try that hard)) that is .87 miles of penis. She would need 1500 more men for a mile of dong.

Also, masculinity =/= feminism. Feminism is a belief in equality between genders, while masculinity is about defining what should a man "be". Not the same thing at all.

An antiquated philosophy that is defended, violently at times, by people scared to lose a way of life the benefits them and nobody else?

I catch that at the gym sometimes. It's great for that environment. Light enough so I don't have to pay that much attention, but well written enough that every now and then they surprise me with what's going on. It's got great and complex women and he clearly supports his teenage kids, while occasionally getting duped…

I hate Man Code BS. Why I should I protect you for being a douchebag or worse just because we both have the same type of genitals? Especially since you'd sell me out in a heartbeat if I did something wrong. It's just a way that predators enforce silence, and if we stood up and didn't feel guilt about violating a code…

Can we get Terry to do a Jez Q&A??? Is someone working on that? Please someone be working on that.

At first when you said "particularly choice excerpts", I was afraid you were being sarcastic and I was cringe-reading. And then I got very happy. Terry Crews for President.

Oh god I have loved Terry Crews since his Everybody Hates Chris days and was so excited to see that he is on Brooklyn 99. All of the interviews I have heard with him have been fantastic. His appearance on Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! was hilarious and entertaining.

This is so powerful coming from a black man. Also, the media only wants to talk about black men when they're shuffling in shackles on the news, or doing something fucked up, so spreading this positivity is so important. I wish more men were on his team.

As if I needed another reason to love Terry Crews.

He is awesome.

I don't know what the performance was supposed to be about, but asking for a clear account of what happened is kinda... assholish. Was his account as the victim not clear enough?

I just want to say before the comments get full of people doubting Shia LaBeouf that anyone who continues to claim he wasn't raped is a rape apologist, a victim blamer, and an asshole.

I feel like I need an Adderal after reading your MWM posts. Can we just ease up and maybe limit fonts to like, 2, and make a few sentences that read calmly? I think you're trying too hard.

Yeah you think people would get over it and stop complaining and maybe just maybe realize that bodies are not a big fucking deal.

There needs to be a museum dedicated to Garth Brooks' magical shirt collection.

Dear LeAnne: In about 15 years or so, you are going to be offered a cheesy role, in a shitty Lifetime movie with a cute guy named Eddie. Do NOT accept. Also, there will be a thing called "Twitter". Avoid that as well.

Are you now or have you ever been Serve Safe or HACCP Certified?

Really? Ring crevices are caked with dirt and literal shit. I don't think food prep workers should be able to wear hand jewelry because it sounds really unsanitary. Fuck the gloves, just don't wear stuff that holds filth.