I'm an hour into the Twin Peaks pilot and I keep waiting for Benson and Stabler to burst onto the scene. Otherwise I'm enjoying it.

99.99% sure the Lindsay Lohan tweet is a Mean Girls reference. Which is amazing.

Part of me is glad that John Mayer is aware of Banksy. Part of me is deeply concerned that John Mayer has yet to realize that Banksy's career is basically an epic troll effort to satirize people like John Mayer. There is a very good chance that this is how black holes are formed.

I love you for the "boobless" joke.

I'm going to quit my job and just devote my life to being an Ariana Grande's Ponytail truther.

Boo, Kinja ate my post. Welcome new staffers! I'm one of the long-term Groupthink mods. Feel free to drop by and hang out with us at the commenter forum whenever. May you use the dismiss button generously and enjoy the ride. Much love from the Mod Squad.

GENETIC ELITE CAN'T EAT ELITE MEAT. THAT'S LIKE ELITIST CANNIBALISM.

"a mason jar filled with balled-up photos of other mason jars"

Meanwhile, Bill Conrad remains hopeful. . .

I don't think I've seen Dave have that much fun since the initial Stupid Human Tricks.

YOU DO NOT DISRUPT ALAN CUMMING, OK?

Davy Jones said it best:

it was my birthday yesterday, too, so I've been mentally crossing out Beyonces name in all the birthday well-wishes and putting in mine.

I'm sure she'll meet a Sophia or ten in kindergarten.

she used the exact font one would expect Britney Spears to use.

When I saw "Riff Raff", my brain first went to:

I HATE when I see couples and the girls all like, "Hey, I love you, I'm so attracted to you, I want to snuggle and hold you because endorphins." And the dude's all, "Hey, sure, OK, fine. But imma keep my hands in my pockets because I'm cool and can't be seen putting effort into anything. ESPECIALLY snuggling with some…

Paris Hilton is not a DJ.

There is no happier place in the universe for Kimye than an elevator that's all mirrors.