Always reminds of a Dave Attell bit where he talks about White Supremacists in Alaska, organizing meetings to once and for all get rid of...Dave.

What’s the over-under on Dr. Love practicing while he’s behind bars?

THIS THIS THIS! I use the rail station/Park N Ride just after the airport but same thing.

Some stoner probably kicked him in his tiny baby balls in high school when he threw away their hacky sack. That’s why he’s so sure weed leads to violence. Every time someone brings up marijuana, his miniscule man purse aches and he flashes back to Chad’s foot buried in the groin of his seersucker pants. It’s deeply…

That last paragraph is the truest & is also probably another reason they only want to speak with black journalists. Once the story is written and published, they’ll quickly forget it ever happened. They’ll move on to other stories about celebrities or some stupid trend and Erica will be a footnote. She deserves so…

Have we swung back around to a 90's revival because I am down.

I never trusted Trump but I sure as hell ain’t gonna believe what comes out of Bannon’s mouth either. I just hope their anger at each other is real and they take each other down like a pair of stupid, diseased albino hippos, fighting for a dominance neither realizes the other lacks.

Only if her reluctance to wear a motorcycle helmet results in her early exit from the race.

$5 bucks this whole thing started with the phrase “This is sure to trigger the Libs...”

There’s always a few fools who will fight against their own self interests, thinking that if they line up next to their oppressors, they’ll be looked upon kindly and given relief. Isn’t that the entire battle plan of the GOP?

It’s weird but this year, my family and I have gone to the theater more than we have in a decade. All those superhero flicks and sci fi movies people say they’re tired of have been a motivating factor.

Hey, has anybody been allowed, officially, too the cookout this year? Grandma needs to know how much potato salad to make.

God, that transition from “Dad, why’d you get me a stupid stuffed animal?” to “I’m never letting this go.” Damn you. Thank you and damn you.

There’s gonna be a lot of emotions at the next few spin classes, especially when the instructor says “Hurry it up” but everyone of them hears the name of the devil himself: HARRIOT. Wailing and lamentations will ensue, set to some 21 Pilots or Chainsmokers song.

This article will feed Clapback Mailbag pieces for months! There will be a sobbing becky in every Ugg boot! A cavalcade of unhinged rants from every Brad with an email account! At least one Black Republican performing an Olympic-level shuck & jive floor routine! IT’S GONNA BE GREAT!

IF (and that’s a big IF) Dotard Tinyhands gets an invite, they should seat him right next to Princess Mikey…

And it’s always good to remind her of this fact in the pettiest ways possible.

Bitch knew exactly what she was doing. That’s the face of someone who thinks they are so slick and then wants to play the “who me?” game. I hope Harry and Meghan get royally petty and seat her way in the back of the venue come wedding day. They should instruct the photographer to catch every bad angle so that she…

Yes, if ONLY because it’s a great brown liquor delivery system.

If your family doesn’t have the following album in one form or another, please get your house in order. Stevie Wonder’s songs alone are worth the price.