You mean the Karl Wallenda that fell to his death from a skywire? #necromancy indeed. #damnitstrue

Lindsay didn't know about Stephanie's horrifying past with strawberries..

There's a Men Are From Mars joke in here somewhere. Oh well.

Aston Martin completed the race, taking 3rd (#97). They had a winning driver for a while (#99), but he too wrecked towards the end of the race. Fortunately, he was mostly unharmed as best as I can deduce.

YSK: Aston are handling this tragedy really well. They've updated their website (which is still blacked out) with this press statement:

In your village, Chief basically = Swaggy.

The officer who searched Brugger was put on four days of paid leave as punishment.

That's really dangerous thinking. I understand your desire for safety and comfort, but absolute surveillance and heavy-handed, hamfisted tactics like this are really the reason why our Homeland Security agencies are often about as efficient and respected as a morbidly obese woman at the French Open. These…

This said, and Patrick I'm really happy for you and I'm gonna let you finish, but Yeezus is one of the best albums of all time.

Seriously, that blew me away.

"I keep it 300 like the Romans"

Delicious Porchetta may not be the craziest food truck, but it's the best.

Let's not forget all the glorious drama in the NHRA. That one crew member punched a dude last weekend. It was very entertaining.

Kickball is Literally Worse than Hitler, LES resident claims.

+1 relapse. That's some good stuff.

You guys should get cropdusters next..

I was actually in jail for this game, and there were literally people screaming, hanging from the rafters and falling on top of one another because that game was so fucking floppy.

What would be really cool is if Asus made this device with a screen that is actually thicker than a frsejilfsdjksalghcredit card

Fun fact! Just as NASCAR drivers did in the 80's, there is a Waffle House album of unbelievably banal original music. It is terrifying, and the employees will want to shit in your coffee if you play it on the jukebox.