One Truck to rule them all.
One Truck to find them.
One Bro to bring them all.
And in the darkness, Smirnoff Ice them.

I really feel like chemical castration is a good way to get the message across to rapists. But that's just me. I know far too many rape survivors to be complacent in a light sentence for rapists. Hanging is good, too.

This is where I'm at with my mom, who is very spiritual and believes the Bible. However, in her favour, she's not a big fan of religion; she also is intelligent and self-aware enough to realise that her beliefs are hers and do not necessarily reflect the beliefs of those around her.

Recently, my brother dragged his puppy out into Lake Michigan to teach the little guy to swim. He did, barking despairingly until we picked him up and put him on a raft, at which point he howled despairingly. It was the saddest and cutest thing I'd ever seen.

I'd love to think getting rid of this outdated law that is harming jobs and manufacturing would be on the top of Congress's list of things to do, but I'm sure there's a vagina walking around free out there somewhere.

I suspect we've all already been incepted many times and this is all a ruse to convince us it can't possibly have happened yet.

Drivers.

Sounds like journey went punk.

Will we get a screen shot tweet of Amanda Bynes calling Michelle and Barack Obama ugly on Twitter, in today's TweetBeat?

I think the whole "it's getting better for women all the time" thing is a fallacy. Things were looking great in the 90s, but then the Paris Hilton "tee hee, I'm so stupid" craze came in and I think we massively regressed. We're starting to pick up the pieces now, but it's difficult. I would say that we are not as…

That's why I find it so odd that people are jealous of European cars—they are usually underpowered. You can't say with one breath their cars are better and with the next say that a midsize sedan with under 200 hp is undriveably slow.