How do you think Sarah Silverman would have written a letter in similar circumstances? Would she have been less likely to respond?

I get it cut pretty short so it goes from fine to perfect to good to maybe a little too long, but I also just finished college so it hasn't really mattered to anyone.

Well, none of them are really giants so they're just lying right off the bat. That's a severe character flaw.

Barber (not the same one) since I was about 11. Usually go 2-3 months before my bangs get down to my eyebrows and I don't think I've ever paid more than $15. I'm also single, but I don't think that's related to my hair. (hideous penis-shaped growth on my shoulder, it's weird)

I stuck to a fairly strict policy of "Do no work on Friday or Saturday" unless I had a major project or test coming up. I generally tried to get something accomplished the other 5 days of the week, but most or at least a lot of what you'll remember from college is doing stupid shit with your friends so make sure you…

Simpson: I've been to two rodeos and three goat ropings, but I've never seen anything like THIS!

It makes sense when you consider all of those things keep pretty well, make splendid snacks, and are important additions to backwoods sex.

To continue your analogy, isn't applying to 130 jobs in one summer a bit like walking around just waving at girls across the street then being pissed you didn't go home with any of them?

Here's a fittingly timely +1

It used to be a lot more casual than here, but post-Kinja it's almost just a continuation of the comment section. The best bar you've ever been to except you have to bring your own alcohol.

Yep, curated by Body by Bacardi: http://twitter.com/wineaccguy/deadspin-commentariat

CDs? I'm shocked a TI-82 would have heard of anything more advanced than a cassette tape.

Try Fireball. Pretty cheap, cinnamon-flavored whiskey. Kind of like Big Red gum but not as hot and much more alcoholic. Easy to drink, perfectly capable of inducing insobriety. Shots are best but you can sip it if you want to pretend to be classy or something or mix with apple juice.

Is that just the Milk Stout but, uh... stoutier? If so, I'm impressed.

psst... you forgot Make Way for Ducklings

Segments with the Roots are the only useful parts of Late Night, although I haven't seen it in a year or two.

I enjoyed some of the sports today, but also this picture.

If Phelps won the title three Olympiads in a row in two individual events and one relay (didn't swim final in '04, but got medal for prelim participation), does that make him an Olympian?

That's swell.

Usually when Argentinians throw things with the other hand they win one of these.