Can confirm. Am a dad. Got a drone for Christmas.

Please don't retweet that...

I hate to say it but i think you've already lost that semantic fight. Language evolves with use and nobody's using quadcopter.

The only manufacturer to even get close to that figure is Ferrari, and that was more than a decade later.

Can't Uber just go and die already?

I never get people like you, it's a fucking phone. It's not like you had a hand in making it or designing the OS. It's a choice like everything else, and in the end it really doesn't matter if you use iOS, Android, or an ancient RAZR.

DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT APPLE THAT WAY, MOTHERF*CKER.

No one is forcing you to do anything. Stop being a dramatic bitch.

38 year old mom's that can fit in their daughter's clothes tend to be in great shape.

Your tinfoil hat is slipping:

I like how on the internet these days the fun thing to do is to call the US dumb.

That's because you only go on pizza night

"I'm all for enjoying what you've earned, except for this case, when you can't enjoy what you've earned."

Look on an asexual dating site. Seriously.

Reminds me of the story on how one of the dating sites (match.com?) did a study that showed that people paid attention to the profile picture and not the actual profile (they were matching people that had no compatibility, yet these people were still actively communicating). Perhaps if your picture is full-body or…

I know a baby's crying can't be helped in most cases. But damn, babies crying on a flight you just can't exit is the most annoying thing in the not so friendly skies.

Honey Comb Cereal had very early popularity.

So did I! Someone said "a theater in Texas..." and I said "ALAMO. IT'S TOTALLY THE ALAMO." Of course.

I knew this had to be the Alamo Drafthouse. They are the best.

I was walking home the other night up Broadway and overheard a woman deciding between two pretty mediocre 5' trees — the $110 one or the $130 one. The majority of tree sellers in my neighborhood are all French-Canadian and work together to fix prices and share RVs sleeping quarters. They're ruining it for the…