I think “Our House” is about to become “Her House.”

He got jammed by a guy who will be bagging groceries when the Fall League ends, and hit a dribbler past an infielder who was inexplicably playing him to pull. But you already answered your own question in the second sentence of your comment.

Forgive the quasi-humblebrag, but I once had a sitdown with Chappelle when he was just a touring stand-up, and he’s the nicest, most down-to-earth and interesting famous person you’re ever likely to meet. I wish I could post the piece, but it was pre-internet (at least for my college newspaper). As much as I miss…

What a mouth on that kid, amiright?

I’d tell all of these people to go to Hell, but then I’d actually have to meet them someday.

Nah. Glenn Beck is a pussy.

“Dogs can lick their own genitals. That’s cheating. I have to pay someone to do that.”

I would literally rather go to The Upside Down.

Fixed that for you :)

Fixed that for you :)

How’d you manage to get through those two paragraphs without saying something bad about the Ducks?

Phillip Rivers is a good case to cite here as well, and probably even more interesting: The Chargers drafted him even though they had Drew Brees in his prime. In that case, there was some concern about whether Brees would fully recover from a serious injury, but they ended up having to decide which guy to keep, and…

Fisher: “I would submit...”

Needs more Karate Kid.

Just look at that asshole’s picture. Talk about a shit-eating grin.

“Ahh-doe-bee”

Someone already made that movie.

No one will ever believe you.

Plus, it’s not even his real dad; it’s his stepdad.

Honestly, man, don’t choose this hill to die on.