I'm nowhere near as in tune to the boxing community as you are, and what matches could potentially be out there, but it seems a rematch to correct an injustice is at least some form of guaranteed money (and there are tweets on last-minute odds-changing as a lot of money poured in the last six hours on Bradley).

I don't feel that I'm in Donald Sutherland-in-JFK conspiracy territory when I ask who stood to benefit. I mean, this is an actual quote from Arum: ''I'll make a lot of money off the rematch, but this was outrageous."

?uestlove has an interesting theory about in$$$$$entives, but it seems Gooddell has dispensed with the ^^^^^^s and is using the stick. The payment #####s are inexact, but do you really need financial considerations to give Brett Favre a ######ing?

Ah yes, the Grantland pressure sock, specifically designed to cut the blood flow to the infinitesimal sliver of your brain that inhibits Austin Powers references and excessive footnoting.

For God's sake, if you're staying in his guest room, do NOT bring Samsonite luggage.

Judging from his owner's line of work, he's probably being loaned out at 21% interest on the day of the race, meaning two ponies compound weekly.

Does this mean that all of the Patriot players are going to have to wear [imdb.com] patches for the 2012 season?

Edwin Moses still holds the record for consecutive temptations successfully hurdled.

At Xanadu did Michael Beck a stately roller rink decree.

I too yearn for the days when survivalist camps were more racially inclusive, knew the importance of good grooming (I'm looking at you, Randy Weaver), and had a certain esprit de corps signified by matching uniforms.

I refuse to think that an MMORPG that introduced us to the timeless characters of Darth Walter, Mr. Sock Puppet, Smiley and his Pet Pig Peter, Radical Dude, and John Oates could be going insolvent so quickly.

Unfortunately, his parents were cheapskates; instead of springing for the Walt Hriniak hitting course, they got the discount VHS tape offered by his brother Fervel: Just Close Your Eyes And Hopefully Something Good Will Happen, And Even If It Doesn't You Can Kill Somebody Standing Five Feet Behind You With the…

"Correction: one yellow card, one black-skinned stormtrooper, and one red-white-and-blue thumbs up to the UEFA Preisdent!" — Brent Musberger

I can't believe that this man is so beholden to obtaining closure on his ancient shitlist that his first impulse is to go hunting for Bryant Reeves.

If you've got any suggestions on how he can improve his banter, he's all ears.

Ford Keys to the Franchise:

Warning: consumption of Monster Energy Drink may cause premature ejaculation, obsessing about premature ejaculation to the point of strained metaphors, violent outbursts, and, of course, monsterism. Please consult with your doctor before beginning a healthy regimen of Monster Energy Drink, crystal meth, resentment,…

There's only one way to keep those uppity Negroes from making an unwarranted political statement, and that's to compare them to the murderous appendage of one of the worst political movements in history.

The numbers don't lie... as of the time I'm typing this, 7500 fires and 42 ectoplasmic entities! 74 people, or three times the paid attendance of the last Astros home game, have developed an affinity for the story... so much so that they were compelled to press the insufficiently rapturous "Like" button and alert…

As a member of the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, I have yet to receive my burger ordered in 1999 and no longer care whether it exists.