Gotta spend money to embezz—to make money.

Should have gotten a red card and a game suspension

After studying the area of the square whose side is the hypotenuse and realizing it's equal to the sum of the areas of the squares whose sides are the two legs, Dez Bryant was able to definitively state that, yes, his mother was a prostitute.

And by mid-November, they'll have mastered Nonlinear Regression.

Counter point: I saw it last night, it's a good action flick. It didn't need to be an candidate for best picture.

Drew, even Aaron Hernandez thinks you ought to pull back on the caps a bit.

pictured: Dr. Gross

Kids, if you're caught cheating your best bet is to look to Rush Limbaugh, who taught us all that you can't let a little controversy stop you from getting back on that soap box.

How was this not a 30 for 30?

When asked how her crotch felt on his leg, Barkley replied "Furrible".

"people close to Rodriguez."

OJ just stabbed two cellmates in an attempt to regain the record.

Does a Subway manager owe the public an explanation when an employee puts his dick in a bun?

Things Jimmy Butler does support: color coordinating.

It was obvious that Robertson was dazed and didn't know what was going on. What else explains him wandering out onto the field wearing that?

KTVU in San Francisco is reporting the baby's name as Prince Heywood Jablowme.

At least we know this baby will grow up to have straight teeth.

Great teammates
Always have
Your back

Tim Lincecum did something similar. But I find it hard to believe he's only the 420th best player in MLB.

"Do you want to know the terrifying truth? Or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?" — Cartoon Mark Maguire, Fox