Gray should've followed the warning of his left front tooth and proceeded with caution here.

When asked about Burruto's future prospects, former big-leaguer Tommy John said "I think his options are limited."

Back in my day, we'd have to go visit my uncle with leprosy if we wanted to see a crazy four pointer.

Also destroyed by customs: Japanese women's feet.

"HE'S SPINNING THE BALL ON HIS FINGER!!! JUST TAKE IT!!! TAKE THE BALL AWWWWWWW..."

Wyllie would get this thing settled a whole lot quicker if he didn't insist on using faulty ACME products.

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Pictured: Cowboys owner Jerry Jones sends out the "Irvin Signal" on the jumbotron.

"...they offered Mr. Madoff a piece of the club, according to the lawsuit. He declined, stating that he wanted to spend more time with his family; especially his son. 'That kid just hangs around his apartment all day,' Madoff said."

Jeez, lighten up, guys. When Nic Cage described his situation as "One big conflict of interest," everybody in the courtroom had a hearty laugh.

Yeah I keep trying, but it hasn't worked. But just imagine how funny the "I take it black... like my men" scene from Airplane! would've been here.

So... what's the trick to video now?

Also a good read: How That Absurd Catherine-The-Great-To-Filly Rumor Got Started

That's the happiest bread line I've ever seen.

Couple of questions;

Now I don't want to step on any toes here, but it seems to me that that gentleman's nickname may have been purposely chosen as a double-entendre. I KNOW, right?

The most disturbing part of this losing streak is the attitude of the players. They're just too disdainfully dismissive of it, too off-hand, too... what's the word?

Listen, Michalek didn't WANT to hurt Ballard, but that bastard killed off Misery Chastain.

the Cavs own any and all records for losses.

@Gourmet Spud: Twenty bucks says at least one of them is named "Lefty."