I’m just so disappointed that this article didn’t begin “Avril Lavigne isn’t dead--she’s born again.” It was RIGHT THERE! 

I’ll probably be in 800 acres in Texas in the middle of nowhere. Off the grid in a self-sustaining community, just living with no power. Like this is fun and all, but technology is just killing me, man.

So basically, in Ohtani, Trout, and Pujols, the Angels now have 1918 Ruth, 1957 Mantle, and 2001 McGwire on the same team.

There are two basic camps in Christian theology (painting with a very broad brush) about which aspect of the crucifixion was the really important one. In Catholic theology, the key aspect of what Jesus did was His death; His primary role was a substitutionary sacrifice. That’s why Catholic iconography, which Gibson’s…

Has anyone reached out to the Tequila Cowboy for comment or is Jerry Jones too busy to talk?

Back in my day, you would write your type your thank you notes on nice paper stock, double spaced in a beautiful font, including specific reasons for gratitude, and sign it under notary witness. Where’s the class these days?

Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

No, you must ban together against the Olds.

Bomani Jones

It is the absolute worst. Cooking for two, and opening a couple cans of cat food, however, is wonderful.

Look, a lot of them are bad

$1 exacta boxes on the three favorites. Total cost is $6, you won’t win much but you’ll win often enough to feel like a winner.

I just legit screamed, A++ answer (hi, I’m Jolie and we have not yet met but I am real big on bed-making, it’s weird)

Jeff Bezos because just today I found out that he’s actually swole.

mom pls dont do this

No way, people only leave Deadspin for great jobs, and we never wish them anything but the best.

Hayward Prefers ‘Tics Over ‘Eat, ‘Azz

The ‘Tics? Fuck you and your dog too

2013 was bleak, but Antetokounmpo went at #15.

whatever. She still won the popular slope.