This is a very good question.

Can’t wait for the clusterfuck to come when the Oilers win the right to pick first in the expansion draft.

40: 4.79

I guess it’s a good sign of his leadership that I’d never heard of Peter Holt until two minutes ago.

Jabronis, ranked:

I’m also unclear why I would’ve had to get off the couch to blog this.

This is exactly why I don’t get out of bed in the morning. Like, fuck a 50% chance of dying!

This is the Twitter equivalent of hitting a hard 18 in Blackjack, pulling a 3, and then telling everyone else at the table it was statistically the right move because you got 21.

A good dog.

Well he was going to the VS fashion show, bras are the whole point.

Unless you’re Josh Hamilton. Then you’re just satisfied with actual crack

This thing is not ok

A deeply mediocre team quarterbacked by Nick Foles isn’t exactly a big draw for the citizens of Los Angeles

Caption: “Brand new leaf blower for sale or rent.”

That’s because the Broncos will own both end zones! - Fake hubris from scared shitless Broncos fan

The prosecution will build its case on the word of one informant.

“Syracuse Crunch” sounds like a candy bar with a chocolatey outside and an inside filled with hopelessness and regret.

Interviewer: Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of paper clips?

If you straighten out the paperclip, and stick it in the tiny hole on the West side of FirstEnergy Stadium, it will reset the Browns and they can start from scratch.