Furthermore, our Sara wasn't offering a comprehensive therapeutic response to suicidal tendencies. She was offering SOME advice, based on a perspective gathered through her own experience. Naturally, her comments are subjective and limited. They only represent a very small slice of the suicide map.

Are you secretly Aaron Sorkin?

I know, isn't it elegant?

Good for you.

You said it.

In my case it was my mom's sister. She used to send my mom racist chain letters and all kinds of freaky shit after 9/11, and then when my mom called her on it she pretended to be the victim. ("I was just stating my opinion! And you think I'm stupid! You're mean!") Self-righteous, whining, passive-aggressive, lying…

That little slut and her harlot mother have learned the lesson Christ intended: no quarter for whores!

That poor man your ex-friend is marrying! If only we could get HIM out of the wedding too! But at least you're off the hook. Now go for a walk somewhere pretty, eat some yummy, wholesome food, and go make yourself some real friends.

You know what really helps little girls love their bodies? USING THEM. Get kids moving, teach them skills. Even ballet doesn't fuck with a girl's head as much as not knowing how to use her body, not feeling confident in her ability to take care of herself.

30 Rock, anyone?

Thanks! Actually, I was really lucky. Though the disk and pinched nerve were certainly hell for a while, they did eventually clear up completely. I'm still largely bedridden, though, because the SLE that was the reason for the prednisone (that caused the herniated disk in the first place) is still so intractable.…

If you like milk, then, well, you want to drink it. And, yes, the differences in taste and texture are HUGE.

Yeah, you were right, your dog IS fucking awesome.

That would totally work.

Oh, hi, I didn't realize I was your clone!

Can I bring my cat? She's fucking awesome too.

As will mine for you.

Four legs, a goat's beard, a long pearl-white horn …

Yeah, but . . . SO CUTE!

Your dog must be related to the late lamented MacLaverty, big, shaggy, disreputable and terrified of: vacuum cleaners, rocking chairs, and watermelons.