Ewe should be ashamed of yourself.

I realized about a year ago that the mediocre massage I get is infinitely better than the sublime massage I don’t.

... [Long Island Iced] tea facility...

If history is any indication, Ken Star will initiate a full investigation into these allegations of improper sexual conduct before ultimately releasing a scathing report on a busted real estate deal.

I paid 6 grand a month for five years to avoid mine...

This makes him the Portugese Bieber.

I had an early and important client meeting yesterday. Although suit wasn’t required, slacks and sports coat were appropriate. I had to leave before dawn and grabbed what I thought was my navy blazer to go with grey slacks from a somewhat dark closet so I wouldn’t wake my wife. Off I went.

Stop crying your heart out, Russell.

Hiv you no shame, sir?

It was his one chance to be a gyro and he missed it. Such a pita. After the game, I hear he tried to sneak out the back door wearing a baklava.

It’s clearly a hint that River Phoenix is going to play the young Solo. Duh.

I can’t speak to Foxfire, but, man, I can confirm it for The Quiet Woman in Corona del Mar.

Is this guy the body double Bobby Jindal used for his official white-washed portrait?

I've seen him turn to goal and Shanghai or wide too many times to justify that kind of money. I mean, you could sign Tiananmen - maybe even a full eleven - for a lot less.

The thing that most jumped out at me when reading this article was the realization that, with a November 6 birthday, but for a box of chocolates and a bottle of champagne, I likely would not exist. Happy Valentine's Day, dad...

Hey Nineteen (to Twenty-four Months, if convicted)

You're probably right - I didn't look it up to confirm. Damn, getting old sucks. Thanks for the correction!

I graduated from HS in 1989, the same year as Brian Chavez. Although I went to private school (where I was a mediocre at best QB), I grew up in Plano, TX, another of Permian’s statewide rivals. Plano had its own storied history, but Permian’s “mojo” chant was enough to stop my Wildcats fans dead in their tracks. I…

Big Newport! This is where I saw all three of the prequel movies and remember the tent park shown here. I’ve got tickets to see The Force Awakens on Monday with my wife on
Monday at Big Newport, as well (but don't tell her I also have tickets to see it by myself Friday at noon by my office).

I was six when the first Star Wars movie came out in 1977, and I was instantly transfixed. From 1977 to 1983, the only things I wanted for Christmas or my birthday were Star Wars toys, and every spare dime I was able to scrounge up was promptly spent on more Star Wars stuff. In addition to armies of figurines and…