Literal shit I am, at 44, too old for:

This is an absolutely awful situation and an example of gross incompetence, but so-called “wrongful birth” claims are very complex and typically disfavored concepts under the law. Rightly or wrongly, the law has generally been resistant to allowing a parent to sue someone for an unwanted child because of the label…

When Nike issues an order, USATF says Dance, Dance, Dance.

Say what you will about Tom Brady and his evasiveness, but if I were one of the most famous and accomplished male athletes in the world, darling of the sports and fashion media, married to the most famous supermodel on the planet, co-parenting with my stunning Hollywood actress ex, and friend to stars in every facet…

“Never touch a female with whom you have a less than intimate acquaintance in any way differently than you would touch another male.”

Cool. I’ve always wondered how you say "fractal" in Chinese.

Apparently, he didn’t notice that “animal style” came with PCP in the special sauce.

This is my workday toilet story, and I have the scar to prove it.

That'll teach the guy to flauta law.

Millions of men, still mourning baseball card collections and vintage Stars Wars figures discarded by disapproving wives and mothers, are currently vacillating between thoughts of sympathy and vindication reading this story right now.

Tom Brady spends his weekends in brown face, wearing a sombrero, and raping and murdering people along the borderlands, before returning to his offseason job as a speechwriter for Trump '16.

Ha - that's exactly the same as me, save for the fact that I was six! I remember being blown away when I finally saw the opening scene on the Rebel transport ship.

The second half of that kid’s cheeseburger ain’t going to eat itself, buddy.

* See also: UMass - Dartmouth.

I agree. Norway he can come back now.

Did you really think he could shoulder the burden of an entire nation's hopes and dreams?

Apparently, Inhofe hasn't realized that when his friends in the oil industry keep fucking the world in the ass, it doesn't mean they're gay.

I guess we now know why Owlz pitchers always got pulled after recording three strikeouts.

If Jon Snow is one of the three heads of the dragon, could his "death" explain the lethargic, wounded demeanor of Drogon when out in the field with Daenerys? If happening simultaneously (as could be inferred by the fact that the scenes followed each other), could it be a sign of a link between Snow and the dragon?

I, for one, think it was brave to Marta himself for the cause.