Yeah, she probably hallucinated while doing the Master Cleanse because all that goes into your body are herbal laxatives, that salt-water flush shit, and lots of "lemonade" made with maple syrup, lemons, and cayenne pepper. If I didn't eat for like, 10 days, I'm sure I would be lightheaded and seeing shit too. Fucking…

A good example: One of my eighth grade classmate's mothers petitioned successfully to get a Jack London short story off the reading list because it involved the death of a dog and would upset her daughter.

Re: Weight Loss Surgery (like the Lap-Band and Gastric Bypass)

My co-worker lost a bet and had to wear full-on face-o-slap make up out one night. I did it for him in the bathroom before we got happy hour drinks. He looked great, even with the beard.

Def. My quickie make up is BB cream, Bene-Tint blush, light fill-in of the brows, and mascara. I gotta have something on my cheeks.

Besides the parents, I imagine it can also be hard for the kid. Relating to other kids your age even though you are way smarter than them? I'm sure it's easier when you are an adult, but I imagine being an elementary school-aged kid it's gotta be weird.

I had "The Rachel" and chunky copper "highlights" in my hair. And braces for like, five years. And I was fat. I lost like, 140 pounds since high school.

It's a name change. Guys can change their last name when they get married instead. One of my guy friends took his wife's last name. It's still the same pain in the ass paperwork wise as it is for women.

He's from Atlanta.

$200,000 since June on weed? That's like... $4,000-ish dollars a DAY.

Before your time. I'm 28 and I love it.

To be fair, I played women's rugby for two years and we aren't delicate sweet little flowers either. We're assholes.

I bet you that is EXACTLY what it was. She's a total diva bitch.

I know. Rugby players are stupid hot. My dad played rugby for the British Royal Navy and was MORTIFIED when I dated a rugby bro in Maryland. He was like, "NO! THEY'RE ALL DIRT BAGS" and I was like... but they're hot scum bags? :( (to be fair, my ex was not a dirt bag haha.)

Dude, rugby players do get laid like tile. I dated a rugby dude in Wales and one in Maryland.

They'd have to laminate him.

Yeah, the two guy pals I mentioned I would maybe consider dating are like, pals that I'm not SUPER close with, like friends I see out socially and stuff. I'll call them to see if they want to go to a bar or party or show with me and our mutual pals and stuff, but I've never been to their house and we don't really hang…

About 95% of my guy friends I would never date. As friends, I love them. I can live with them as roommates and not want to kill them on long trips and see them every day and not get sick of them, but I don't want to date any of them. There are like, two friends I'd maybe consider dating, but even then, I dunno.

Carly Rae Jepsen is the worst at a lot of things, not just judging a dance contest.

Re: Miranda's hair. Honey...