So, you were a little asshole who got out assholed by another kid. How about you just cut off contact with her and move on with your life?

About the flip flops, yes. About the sundress, no.

But he/she did "beat" you in the debate, and the Sharknado reference was the cherry on top.

lol I'm actually totally not. Your overreaction of something really quite benign and absolute conviction that you're right and 'why can't you see this?' reminds me of people who spend too much time on Twitter and when they get into the real world, they're shocked that their opinions aren't universal:

This, I assume. Cut it out, Lindy!

Damn it, Mischa!

I had a guy friend who was constantly whining about being single and women never make the first move. We all went out one night, and a lovely lady got his digits. When she called him, he freaked out and called her a psycho.

But he's yelling at YOU like YOU'RE the racist, not your MIL. This guy...

Please, literally no one is disagreeing with you.

And thank YOU for actually being a smart person who looks things up, instead of re-telling the same story and, when challenged, going "NUH UH IT'S TRUE."

Dude, she's admitting it was wrong. Who the fuck are you trying to argue with right now? NOBODY IS ARGUING WITH YOU. YOU CAN DROP THE 'LET ME SHOW HOW SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS I AM' ACT NOW.

I have a hard time not giving anyone who's parents cursed them with the name Nevaeh serious pity face.

The historical significance of a white person changing the name of a black person because they don't like it though....

This judge is a racist piece of shit.

You certainly are the Messiah of cuteness! I don't care what any silly pants judge says!

I am the skinny ex-bestie of a rather large lady. When we had our ultimate falling out, she accused me of making remarks about her weight and making her feel bad. Let me tell you, I NEVER made a single remark about her weight EVER. It was always painfully awkward when she would fat-bash herself, or when I would slip…

One of the most surreal weeks of my life was spent on a spring break in Mexico where my friends and I stayed one floor down from The Hill's cast. We shared the elevator with them a couple times, and saw them outside.

I'm not too angry at this. If the architecture of the building were crucial to its historic import I would be bothered but changing the windows and adding an extra floor doesn't make this building any less of a stop on the Underground Railroad. At least no more than changing it into an apartment building did.

Get your fat ass here every day. Do you want to die?

Pictured above: Unused footage from the director's cut of Attack of the Clones wherein the Empire creates an army of Boba Fett's disenchanted sister Mopey Fett, played by Winona Ryder.