Yeah, wiping issues are killer.

I cannot bring myself to watch that video. I would die if something like that happened to me. Thankfully I'm a big loser who will never be on the Today show

I'm clutching my pearls right along with you.

There was nothing satisfying about that. AHSLDKFj;asdf

Running to Katy Perry is the greatest!

Another good song for a running playlist is the longer version of Jesus Built My Hotrod by Ministry. Love that shit.

As much as I loved Teen Witch, I'm gonna have to go with the witches from the Craft. Those bitches used their powers for revenge, which I love! Teen Witch was too innocent and only used her powers to make Brad fall in love with her and walk all sexily towards her in his tank top at that abandoned house. She did not…

I gave my dog a strawberry recently. He took it into the bedroom and I thought he was going to eat it, but he just left it in the middle of the floor like a little butthead.

Wow, I wish we had been forced to watch that in high school. I bought that movie on DVD last year! If I ever have a son, I will make him watch it before he goes off to college.

Now I feel bad for screaming at Siri all of the time.

Oh great, are "dancing while quitting" videos going to become the new thing on the internet now? Everyone just forget about the existence of the internet while quitting and do it like a fucking grown up.

He's not successful because of anything he did on his own. He's successful because of nepotism, and can kindly go fuck himself. In the ass. With a spiked candlestick.

Shh beatrice, don't you know skinny people don't have any feelings? It's because of their thin privilege!

Ugh, THE BIG BOOB ARGUMENT. When I was 22 one of my friends told me that all guys prefer big breasts like hers (she was a DD, but she was also borderline obese) and that no man would like my small boob and if they said so, they were either lying or gay. Something to that effect. I was very thin, like 5'7 120…

I wouldn't mind banging Mr. Efron. Drug addictions aside, he's hot as fuck!

Fuck Fashion. I wish I could wear muumuus all day long.

I don't really give a fuck about the paralyzed dude and I'm glad the asian Joker and his family are okay.

Her songs are great to run to. I love running to Roar, even if the lyrics are dumb as fuck.

It's about damn time!

Teresa makes me appreciate my fivehead.

I really don't think she did, either. The way they handled the case vaguely reminded me of what happened to the West Memphis 3 in 1994 - they really had no evidence linking her to the crime but they wanted to solve it, so she became the scapegoat.