What has been seen cannot be unseen.

I think it's less that 24 Hour Fitness (or LA Fitness in this case) hires weirdos and more that weirdos become "personal trainers" at gyms. I was, and I guess still am, a member at 24 Hour Fitness and went to one in WeHo and Santa Monica for years. I was pretty friendly with one of the guys that trained in SM, we'd go…

My last winner was a "recovering" alcoholic who never went to meetings and had no sponsor. What he did have was a huge inferiority complex and a chip on his shoulder the size of Russia. Nothing was ever his fault, his retail job at 38 was because the world was out o get him, and in spite of the fact that he had…

I for one would love her to help me escape the constant media presence of privileged white ladies with unexceptional children, who they pretend are autistic so their kid is a special snowflake rather than ordinary.

I hope she enjoyed her rabies regimen.

I was lulled into a false sense of security by the adorable otter photo, and then I read the words. Ugh.

When I was four I had a blow -up Miss Piggy. She was awesome and I loved her. In an act of evil my older sister stuck a pin in her and slowly squeezed out her air.

Little chicken butt! Squee!

Oh Brown Bunny, you've restored my faith like I never thought it could be after Vincent Gallo.

This is my other nightmare.

This is my nightmare.

It's Britney, bitch

Ugh, this just reminds me of the incredibly pretentious grad student I knew when I was in undergrad. Wise beyond his privileged 26 years, Dylan (I greatly doubted the veracity of this being his given name) was quite impressed with his shaggy haired self, as were the ladies. When not sharing his didactic political…

I had one law professor that used PowerPoint. He was by far the worst professor I had during law school. He also "wrote" a sourcebook on public health law in our state and allowed us to have pdf versions of what looked to be his self-published masterpiece. The entire book was the verbatim text of the relevant state…

I anthropomorphize the fuck out of my pups! And would definitely choose the three of them over most people any day. They're like my own little UN, my United Colors of Bennetton pups, establishing peace between the Jewish, Muslim, and Pastafarian faiths. That poli sci degree has to get used somewhere.

When my sister and I were kids we'd spend our summers in Oregon with our dad. One summer my sister got the chipmunk bug and started to take photos of them. A lot of photos of them. All the time. It was the 80s so with every roll she completed, our dad had to pay to get it developed.

I don't know, but I'm jealous. I can't even dream of having clout like that.

I am not at all embarrassed that when the kittens were brought out I threw my hands in the air and started screaming, "THE KITTENS!!!!!" in a high pitched voice.

We did the sink thing, but I have two other pups, her sister and a rescue westie-rat terrier, and it's faster to throw them all in the tub at once.

I have two mini dachshunds and they both hate baths, shaking, crying, desperate attempts to climb out of the sink or tub. Sadly, this had led to me trying to make it go as quickly as possible for them both, which often means they both inevitably get water up their noses, in their ears, etc. Essentially, they end up…