This is the absolute perfect description of why ME3 was a disappointment, and this is what ardent defenders of how that game played out don't get. The problem with the ending wasn't that it wasn't "happy," it was that it felt meaningless. If Shepard had gone out in a blaze of glory as all the things you described…

I prefer Cholula, honestly.

Skyline is an abject mockery of all that is good and right in the world.

You can drink water?

One guy gets his throat slit and everyone loses their heads over it.

There's a small tiny ledge at the specific corner they pushed him on which let him warp back into the action (source: article)

Well I charge my party guests when I put Han-Solo-Frozen-In-Carbonite ice cubes in their drinks, so this seems fair to me.

The second loot cave is honestly not even worth it at this point. Its funner to just do strike playlists and crucible for gear. You know, because vanguard points let you buy gear anyway. And they drop engrams, etc.

After a few minutes, I returned to the table. The man ordered a hamburger.

NEVER *roars*

This might be the best article image ever.

So I'm absolutely adding this to my ever-expanding list of reasons why I should move to NYC.

White folks really really hate being told they can't do something.

1) gawker just so i could make it good

Pick up that can.