Separate bedrooms seemed to work out for my grandparents and they had 5 kids...

I’ve always liked Louis Armstrong’s “Spooks” and “Skeleton in the Closet”.

Yes, but is Noah’s Ark better than the USS Ronald Reagan nuclear-powered supercarrier?

He’s perfect. He looks exactly what I think a slumlord should look like. Jowly, old sweatshirt, winter snow boots.

She was devastatingly cute in The Picture of Dorian Gray.

People stopped buying factory direct, that’s all.

Nnnnnoooo - parakeet stroll!

This oldster is scared of the young person.

I have picked up more than one woman in this. They are usually horrified. Guess I bought the wrong Mark...

Kids today have no imagination.

This guy looks like the love child of King Diamond and The Grinch.

“It’s bigfoot!”

5 minutes to midnight - NUCLEAR BOMB REFERENCE

Fuck Genesys - go to McLaren.

Needs hood ornament.

I just bought a 1997 Eldorado with 16,ooo miles. 2 months in - no problems. If this article jinxes me...

Scientists from a Tacoma, WA-based biotech company have developed Recovery Water using a special electro-kinetically modified process. In this process, Recovery Water is infused with charged nano-structures, which are proven safe to consume and highly effective in promoting healthy cells.

Gawker Media: can you please hire ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER and let him write a weekly column?