WHA-WHAAAAAAAAAA

They’re GIVING you an adapter for your plug-in headphones. You don’t have to change anything if you don’t want.

Many times I’d “go easy” on whoever I was playing in Live ‘95 and pick the 76ers... only to end up scoring 85 points with Dana Barros on 25-30 from 3.

Free speech prevents the government from punishing you for criticizing it, it has nothing to do with a private company allowing you use of its own proprietary platform to espouse whatever views you wish.

Check back in when you actually understand what free speech is...

God fuckin dammit

F1’s Dan Marino.

“I mean come on. Men are as strong as men and it’s not like an entire cottage industry of lame prison rape jokes are indicative of the reality of rape among physical equals!”

I have to thank Deadspin for turning me on to Doug Schneider’s twitter feed. He sends out police scanner quotes from Green Bay cops dealing with drunk Wisconsinites during games.

The late Denny Green’s assessment of NASCAR fans:

WHAAAAAAA

My wife and I were camping by a river this spring and at about 7:30 a.m. I was getting the fire started and looked up to see this bald eagle diving towards the river... the talons, the swooping, he grabbed a trout and kept flying.

I think so... Boehner is a heavy smoker as well.

“You’re gonna blow out your O-ring!”

Last week there was a guy in the stall next to me that was carrying on a full, professional phone conversation with a client with repeated plops in the background. I even waited to get up until he was finished so there wouldn’t be an audible flush.

Does your shirt say “Corporate Storm Pajamas”?

No, I remember Rome taunting them with “Chris Goth” followed by tables flipping and many fiery arrows.

Bring me the finest Cambodian breast milks.

I have had a handful of discussions with friends about Mulholland Drive and I have yet to encounter anyone that didn’t despise the movie after seeing it.

“Hillary is running misleading ads featuring words that I have publicly spoken! Those ties are made in Bangladesh, Alabama!”