I can’t lie, these gave me several minutes of belly laughs... and also made me uncomfortable.

LOL

ARE YOU FINALLY WILLING TO ADMIT YOU WERE WRONG AND SHILLARY PAID YOU TO BESMIRCH THE CHEMTRAIL PIONEERS

Either you put ketchup on your dog or you’re with the terrorists.

I dunno, maybe I’m lazy but I probably would have just used a few sprays of Resolve and paper towel.

Yes

I think it’s funny that he still lists his alma mater as Butte Community College in those pregame player intros.

This guy gets it.

Deadspin did an investigation a few years ago and found nothing that would suggest he’s gay, although the rumors have been around for a while. Who knows... I’m a huge GB Packers fan and don’t give a shit who Rodgers sleeps with as long as he keeps crushing the Bears.

Holy fuckin shit, Diana is burning down the house.

Asking a cop if one of their killings was justified is like asking a North Korean resident if they like the Kim family on camera. You are literally ALWAYS going to get the same answer.

“You’d be good and better, and I’d be good and better” has got to be the most boring, lame pickup line I’ve heard.

Spitzer got busted because he made it a point to go after other guys with the same penchant for paying for sex... it’s the hypocrisy that’s more notable than the crime.

AWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

Who among you takes shits at work?

Barry, PLEASE attend a game with Zach Hemple and write about it.

Hells Bells, Trudy!

Just give up, Barry. He’s not going to see your point - which is basically “you have taken away 9,000 lifetime-memory-making experiences from other fans, so you can have one more.”

Nancy “Engorged Tragedy Tick” Grace

Actually I did grow up there.... ?