What if Jordan Spieth couldn’t make any putts? WHAT SAY YOU

This is an excellent piece, and very similar to my political evolution throughout my 30's.

Yes. Is it terrible that I need to ask what the fuck is wrong with this cat’s head?

Who is going to watch and write the first takedown of Simmons’ new HBO show?

This is a great photo.

How is Bran going to get his parents to kiss at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance?

Confession time: have any of you ever purchased a product being pushed by an Insta-dingus?

This is a really inaccurate assessment of Westbrook’s game.

Truth.

Yes, yes missed call. It happens.

Have you driven a G37 sedan? Spectacular car.

The reviews on this car have basically been universally negative. Very disappointing, since I think I’m one of the few that thinks it actually looks cool as hell.

... and four incredibly powerful hands to rip at you with

I don’t remember where I read this, but some vet was talking about chimp attacks and he said that despite being approximately the same weight as humans, chimps muscle mass was something like 70% higher.

Every time I bring my daughter to the zoo (it’s free so we go a lot), I think of this woman while we’re in the primate house... I think “these fuckers would rip me to shreds with their bare hands.”

I enjoyed that way too much.

I am speaking from my experience.

There are obvious exceptions, hoss. I was making a generalized statement.

I’m going to take issue with your choice and it will make you angry.

Yes.