I felt really bad for O.J. Simpson until I remembered I don’t give a shit about anyone’s fantasy football team, and also that time he killed his ex-wife and a waiter.

Man, even the Broncos are Elway is crying.

I’m so excited to have a new brain genius in profession sports. Like, Kyrie just got served. 

Having this come out right after Luck’s announcement is cruel and unusual punishment.

Andrew Luck 2012: *Takes a sack* Great job, man. Insane hustle. You really got me.

Andrew Luck 2019: You even just look at the ceiling and wish you could stop existing? Like, not die, but just POOF and cease being altogether. Maybe it’s nothing but motionless, soundless black. Complete emptiness. Nothingness. But it’s…

“Sure, we could have demanded he pay us the money back. But that didn’t feel like the right thing to do. Andrew was more than just our quarterback, he was the person we rallied around after we let Peyton Manning go He brought us together: our present, our future and our glorious past. From our point of view, he helped…

I could be wrong, but I believe he’s being sarcastic and simply showing how rediculous it is to compare what luck does with steel workers.

So last year NFL revenues were about 16 billion dollars, of which players get a little less than half, call it 8 billion. 53 NFL players x 32 teams x $60k each = $102 million, for all the players combined. A reduction in pay of 99%. 

Luck’s choice didn’t happen in a vacuum.  How the Colts handled/mishandled his injuries are relevant to his health and this choice.

The Major sport that’s hardest on your body, is far and away the worst for your brain (and long term risks), but pays far and away the least and guarantees nothing in contracts (and has a history of fucking over it’s retirees) is having a problem with players walking away from the game.

If there was a young man in literally any other profession who made $100 million before he was 30 and decided to retire, he would be lauded. The Wall Street Journal would write thousands of words of wankery praising his acumen and smarts and god bless America.

I hope that NFL players take note of the lack of empathy people have shown Andrew Luck during this entire process. Don’t feel guilty about hold-outs for more money. Get as much money as you can and get the hell out before it becomes a detriment to your health. 

At least he helped the Colts put up a banner before retiring:

Your quarterback: Andrew...wha?!?

So do I get a compensatory pick in my league if I drafted him literally 2 minutes before this news broke?

Not every NFL quarterback can have the career longevity of RG3.

I don’t buy it. There’s no way Jim Irsay is conscious on a Saturday night.

We’re going to need both versions of WYTS from Drew on Monday.

Submissions for the NFL previews are closed. Next up: Indianapolis Colts.