I was the 69th person to star this.

I assume he didn’t want to risk an injury that would prevent him from giving his post-game press conference in the really cool hat he had picked out.

I feel like there are any number of potential creative ways to make the best of honoring the letter of that contract. Place a plaque reading, “<— Fuck This Guy” two feet away, or strew birdseed on the ground every morning until local pigeons are trained to come and shit in that specific spot.

The laptop that Cam Newton stole in college is technologically more advanced than 95% of North Carolina. 

Still the best.

A team spokesperson noted that, for the Cardinals this season, Minegar’s was but the first of many wasted drives.

I don’t know, I’m partial to them having to text pictures of Rodgers playing with the new helmet. That is just... wow. The painted helmet just somehow feels like a logical contiuation at that point of the story. Like what else was going to happen.

Low key best part is Brown painting his helmet similar to the Raiders colors and trying to sneak it on field like some cartoon villain wearing a mop to pretend they have long hair. 

What about Mark Davis’ helmet though? 

So, does the NFL do anything at all to help out a player having a mental health crisis or are they just on their own for that?

I’m assuming the franchise in question is Sport Clips?

The goddamn FedEx Field poet laureate.

Ok Matt may have the best submission I’ve ever seen.

A bunch of years back I met and shook hands with Donald Trump in a room of about 25 people. At the time I just thought of him as a big doofus... my missed face-punching opportunity haunts me to this day.

Cool but his security is close to him and not punching him. I mean, he’s around other humans. Why aren’t they punching him???

I got to hang out with the Skins after a game in Oakland five years ago (a friend of a friend was catering their dinner) and my buddy tried to go talk to Snyder. He barely took three steps toward the guy before security was on him. Couldn’t get within 15 feet, got kicked out. He was even planning on being polite!

The fact that someone hasn’t punched Danny Boy in the face by now seems like a miss. Like, if you’re near him, just punch him. Seems pretty straightforward.

Solid critique from a guy with [checks history] all of one comment.

These owners really need to stick to sports.

“Popsicles!” - Rex