This is so misleading, as usual. “Kill you” is just how Aaron Hernandez refers to losing weight.

Mouton also tells a similar story of when he sacked Tom Brady, and Brady told him he would, “Knock the wind out of him.”

And then there’s all the cool things our slaves built:

The last one to refuse a Mozgov photo-op:

The second best part of the gif is Griffin on the far right side of the screen just throwing his arms up and turning away in a “seriously, man?” fashion after watching Rivers faceplant with the ball bouncing harmlessly out of bounds.

I hate the Pats. I love the Gronk.

The slippery slope toward Treestiality.

You won’t be so thrilled when they have a dog kissing a tree on Kiss Cam.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN TO MY 5-YEAR-OLD SON THAT TWO GROWN MEN CAN’T GET DRUNK BECAUSE BUD LIGHT COSTS $10?

To show them they were truly part of the family, several Dodgers fans stabbed them in the parking lot after the game.

Professional sports ≠ legal system.

If their name (and product) is any indication the Browns are always willing to offer number 2.

Out of respect for Tim Tebow, the Philadelphia Eagles ask that NFL journalists refrain from prematurely reporting picks.

When asked what would happen when the Raiders scored the designers commented that the question never really crossed their minds.

How did you miss Lorenzo Cain as ‘The Great Cornholio’?

One time in LA, I watched a dude order a double meat Seafood Sensation / Cheesesteak hybrid. He sheepishly looked at me and said “Surf and Turf”. Haven’t had Subway since.

I googled that and found this article about a vegas preacher who would be speaking at several churches in the Austin, TX area with ‘Former NFL Quarterback’ Josh McCown. That was 2011!

Not cool Thibs. Black face is never okay. Even if you’re using a real face.

Things to do for fun in Morgantown, ranked: