This election isn’t just a dumpster fire, it’s a dumpster fire careening down a hill, causing traffic accidents and slamming right into the side of an orphanage.

“Bill Clinton said ‘retarded’ in 1983. That’s much worse!”

“HAHAHA ALL SOUTHERNERS ARE STUPID HICKS! GET IT?!? THEYRE SOOOO STUPID!!!”

By Laura Jeanne Poon

Nothing in our article has had the slightest effect on the reputation that Mr. Trump, through his own words and actions, has already created for himself.

We see this all the time.

My god. It’s a Rococo nightmare.

To be fair they tried to give him a double-breasked jacket but he couldn’t stop laughing, grabbing at the air, and making honking noises.

“In 2060, retirees will have manbuns and skinny jeans.”

Omg, first cohort: all the people who posted that dumbass FB meme equating women who are into 50 shades of gray with remarks about sexual assault. Like, do I have to explain this to you? And can I send a rescue team to help your spouse coz clearly you are a danger to them?

We need to have a serious conversation about consent in this country, because too many people just don’t get it. And that is completely inexcusable.

Suing Perez Hilton out of existence would just add to her list of humanitarian achievements!

didn’t Perez get famous by poorly doodling jizz and coke on celebrity pictures, particularly women? Not terribly upset at the prospect of Angelina suing him. He sounds particularly man-babyish in that message.

Well, I wanted to see this because Emily Blunt and Allison Janney should be in ALL THE THINGS. However, when I read that the book The Girl on the Train is inferior to Gone Girl...I had to take a step back. Gone Girl is the worst book I’ve read in ages. It’s so awful I’m having a hard time finding the right words to…

As a white man, I disagree. Monogrammed initials are classy. So say my monogrammed cuffs on my bespoke shirts.

I passed several rocks, without carving my name in them.

But AF is a great monogram: atrial fibrillation, as fuck, the list goes on and on to include at least one more thing. Auto focus, maybe.

A++ Kitchenette callback, RIP Kitchenette. *pours out bottle of ranch*

I have noticed that if you have a monogram sticker on the back of your car, you are also likely a terrible driver. The girlier the monogram and color? The worse the driver. Pink scripty monogram is almost always with one of those stupid Vineyard Vines stickers and almost always a super terrible driver on their cell…