As a middle-aged woman, this comment has put me off reading them.

I AM JUST GLAD WE CAN FINALLY HAVE THIS CONVERSATION BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR MONTHS!

Inveterate fuckbaggery does not surprise me at all, but how gross, ugh.

I got the reference just fine. I’m still on the “what is this even supposed to mean” side of things.

Tiffany,

Or, as John Oliver put it: “featuring all of Donald Trump’s favorite family members, and Tiffany.”

I summon the Jezzie who is the reason I will never eat pumpkin seeds again.

You know what I HATE - I hate his stupid hairdo. I HATE it with a passion. Makes him look full on creepy all the time. I will never not hate this ‘do.

“trembling autumnal leaf Nicole Kidman”

It’s actually a procedure that transforms your vagina into a laser, which can then wreak havoc on your ex-boyfriends and any perv that looks sideways at you on the subway.

Ah yes, the vagina laser, a distant cousin of the penile proton torpedo...

“My roommate started a fight with me over fruit-storage techniques.”

But so would Donald and therein lies the problem.

I only clicked on the article to see if my old roommate was talking shit about me.

Cooking on Sunday for the week is a hallmark of a serial killer? Shit, I better get to work on my body count.

The cross campus bus had a stop outside my dorm down a small grassy hill that would stop there if people were waiting. One day my freshman year I was late for class (shocker) and was running to meet a bus that was just about to pass that stop.

I mean, that’s basically how the Council of Nicaea happened.

+1 placenta falling to the floor

I’m so ridiculously thankful to have attended college before social media existed.

My college roommate kept mini kit-kats in the freezer instead of mini peanut butter cups. He was a monster.