Okay, I admit it. At first read, I thought that “murdering a hobo” was a euphemism for fellatio or a hand-job.

This needs moar stars

See I think that’s OK. I once spend a fairly extended period of time explaining to my in-laws, who were trying so hard not to laugh, why I think penises are funny.

(it’s because they are just inherently funny, like they look hilarious)

Omg! My grandmother had a porcelain one that was a dick on one side & the Virgin Mary on the other! She just left it out like nbd.

My mom once walked in on me while I was jacking it as a preteen and said “What Are You Doing?” I yelled “What do you think I’m doing??” and she slammed the door. Awk.

Tongue punch your box is a common one I’ve heard and I just stop talking to that person, because, NO.

And boobs! I swear to god, I’ve seen Claire’s boobs more than I’ve seen my own.

Shortly after I was surprise laid off from my job, I was home alone in the house that me and my boyfriend of five years shared, busily applying for jobs. We had one shitty old printer that we shared that I’d never figured out how to print to from my laptop so I grabbed his laptop, as I often did, to print the…

You...you killed him?

“I took a bath, I shaved my legs, I washed every nook and cranny. So you can fuck me anywhere, even in the fanny. Love, Annie.” - letter my mother in law wrote to my father in law, as forever burned into the memory of my then 10-year old husband who discovered it. And later mine.

crying.....can’t breathe....

One time I got this series of texts from my dad:

Yeah they wanted to fuck you

Sadly, I’ve never accidentally seen anything like this. Can I get a pity ungrey? :-\

Agreed. Also, Aniston is boring in style, acting and personality. Not that I wish betrayal on anyone, but that jar of mayonnaise owes her relevance to the Pitt-Jolie situation. Otherwise, she’d be on her 3rd failed TV show by now, instead benefiting from a mediocre film career. Yes. I said it. Sorry not sorry.

It is a great counterpoint but- I teach high school and spend more time with teenagers than a lot of their own parents do. I have never gotten into a screaming match with a teenager. I have never hit a teenager. I have never made a teenager feel physically threatened.

Chick lit author Emily Giffin put this post about how she is #teambrad. Ugh making light of these allegations. Ugh - I used to read her books as a guilty pleasure. No more.

Ha, I meant “besties”, but that may have been a Freudian autocorrect.

I think Jennifer is the true PR master. She manages to be the faultless nice one, even though she long-term dated garbage John Mayer, and is beasties with garbage Chelsea Handler.

I am Team Somebody Help Them All Out.