“Reader, I banged him.”

My husband and I had the same agreement. I wrote and sent “mine” in the first two months after the wedding. He kept putting “his” off, and after awhile his mom asked him about it (she knew of our agreement and thought it was great), and he kept delaying. Fast forward a few weeks and I hear him SCREAMING at his mother…

Please tell me that I’m not the only one looking at the decor and being horrified. Of course I also am the one thinking things like, “well, now you’ve gotta disinfect that table.”

Understandable. The reason I like JD is because he talks dirty and seems really invested in making his partner come as many times as possible.

Www.scottevest.com. Several styles, all below $200, and some have pockets big enough for an iPad. My faves are the trench coat and the Molly.

As an only with an only, I was amazed when people started asking when I was going to have another. When I would tell them that I couldn’t, because my body can’t do that any more, they’d always want to know why and then would suggest adoption. Why? Why the baby pushing? These weren't family members, these were other…

On a horse, no less!

God, yes.

Oh, Mighty Isis!

I’ve overheard some hilarious stuff from people who have moved to the south.

Diet Coke, B-52’s, Holly Hunter, Whitney Houston, R.E.M., Kyle Chandler, Alton Brown, and Mrs. Paul Newman herself, Joanne Woodward

Way to generalize! Hey, isn’t everyone from New Jersey an uneducated, mysoginistic guido? They’re not?

I do that, too. But I also always do the hand sweep. I hope you do, too.

Gifts are not meant to cover the cost of the wedding. People should have the wedding they (and I am including parents) can afford. A wedding is not a financial transaction between you and your guests.

Have they never heard of Yves St. Laurent’s le smoking? What, they’re in Louisiana? Nevermind.....

According to Lisa Marie, the falsetto MJ spoke in wasn't his real voice, so yes, he did voices. Constantly.

If you skin seems normal and zit-free, thank your parents! You are a winner in the skin lottery!

Several cosmetic companies sell colored primers like what you are describing. Green, blue, pink, yellow. Green is great for masking redness. MUFE, Laura Mercier, Smashbox, and I'm sure many others carry them.

Well, how's your face? Oily, dry, breakouts? Age? Are you outdoors a lot?

I live in a small town in Georgia, and we have a sheriff's department that is GREAT with keeping everyone informed about stuff with social media. It's usual law enforcement stuff, like news of a wreck blocking a road, then a follow up when the wreck is clear, letting us know that a cannon was going to be fired…