Microdick. A one night stand that did not include actual penetration (obvs). At one point, I'm pretty sure I attempted to jerk it with two fingers. There was no warning, so I'm afraid I didn't cover my shock well at the grand unveiling. I was taught to always be polite, so I put forth more of an effort than was…

Caused by drinking too much, it causes the once mighty staff of lust to resemble dough that has just been released from its tube (available in the refrigerated aisle). Virtually undetectable from cocaine dick.

look how hard Jimmy's pumpin' to get that water out.....yeah.....

noooooooo!! Eh, she should have married Max.

I stepped on a curling iron that had fallen on the floor and couldn't wear a shoe on that foot for a while. I also burned my forehead while curling my hair.

This may not be exactly on conversational target, but your post just reminded me of something I've only encountered in the last few years (in my 40's, if that matters). Have any of you had friends who can't stand the sound of certain words and forbid you to say them? "Moist" is a popular one. I have a friend who…

since they caught up with them in Atlanta, and they were headed for Jacksonville, I don't think they would have gone back to AL to go to Jacksonville

I am from Savannah and he was pretty close. Mr Helms himself is from Atlanta, so it makes sense that he'd be such a good mimic of specific southern accents. Of course, still living in Georgia, I notice a range of Foghorn Leghorn to TV broadcaster.

Rumor has it.....her father's chin

I was so happy to remember how to watch my TiVo in Slo-mo.....repeatedly

I owned a randomly-accelerating Toyota. The floor mat had nothing to do with it. Toyota just found it easier to claim that was the cause.

Don't forget Tom & Rita. And we call hold Paul & Joanne in our hearts forever.

I actually refer to my longtime lovaaa as my " boyfriend slash baby daddy" (we have a son). I tried referring to him as my partner a few times, but always was asked what kind of business we had.

don't forget about "Obsessed!" and "Classy". My brain responds with "why?" and "NO".

The Crab Shack on the way to Tybee isn't a chain and is not very good. It's a great location and an interesting setup, but the food is among the worst in the area. Everything is boiled or defrosted. Tybee is just another three minutes down the road, so it's no hardship to keep going.

That house is priced at over $20 million dollars. Wouldn't it just make more sense to hire someone to take care of it, instead of having to endure a move?
It seems rather extreme to move because of Lyme disease.

well, when he says "friend"...

I was just thinking that! I just caught an epi with him in it yesterday and thought, "Sebastian must be such a sweet guy to be on Gilmore Girls." LIES! LIES!

I hope she had Backup!

I bought that utterly adorable piece of crap a couple of years ago. It was like the boyfriend you let move in on the first(ish) date. So utterly adorable, so utterly useless. I tried, oh how I tried to make it work. At first I trimmed the butter; cutting off the ends, the top edges, laughing at it's saucy way of…