Middle school aged kids are the absolute worst conceivable beings. They’re just bundles of absurd hormones desperately seeking validation from their idiot peers and they inevitably making the dumbest fucking decisions possible. Source- I was a shitty middle schooler.

The thing is, if your service provider is the only game in town (a very real possibility) then why the fuck should they care if they’re known as the “one who blocks Netflix?” My area only has two ISPs, and if they decided to block Netflix, there’s fuck all people could do about it.

“What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?”

No, a convenience store is just a place to buy booze without needing to go to the market. Here’s a convenience store with a gourmet burger stand:

Yeah, you never been to a bodega, or anywhere with “flavor”, stop with those lies.

This is categorically false. No “suburban bodega” that ive been in has had a stray cat living on the shelves.

...and then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

“Subway is currently testing a BLT&E, a deviled egg salad sandwich topped with cheddar cheese, bacon, lettuce, and fresh tomato slices”. That actually sounds interesting. I wish it was available at a restaurant other than Subway.
When a restaurant has to state that it’s tomato slices were “fresh tomato slices”,…

I love to travel. It’s my favorite thing in the world. But still, there’s few things sweeter than using your own toilet after being somewhere else for a couple of weeks. Going to sleep in your own bed is a close second.

lol i can’t believe i just pretended my kids only eat these muffins in moderation. 

Or just skip the steamer altogether and roast asparagus and broccoli, which makes them actually taste good.

Don’t these people know better than to get on a bus with Keanu Reeves? 

Exactly. Could cold-blooded, mind you, space “lizards” innards keep you warm in sub-zero temperatures all night. I think not, sir!!

Um, excuse me, tauntauns are space lizards? Have you lost your damn minds? Obviously they are cuddly space kangaroos, I mean Jesus Christ.

In space, no one can hear you work hard or die trying, girl.

Missed your post. First thing I thought of. Still cool but Tina’s version was fantastic.

“They fired a gym teacher.”

I saw this episode of Bob’s Burgers.

Excellent. Now a whole new generation can be mystified by David Lynch’s Pacific Rim.