True, but until my neighbor’s garden can supply the restaurant with tomatoes, I will refrain from having them added to my to-go order.

I have a theory on this behavior. The people who do this, as children would tattle to adult authority figures (parents, teachers, etc) when things did not go they way they liked.  Now, as grown-ups, they can’t tattle to an adult, so they tattle to the adult-adults, by calling 911.

I have a theory on this behavior. The people who do this, as children would tattle to adult authority figures (parents, teachers, etc) when things did not go they way they liked.  Now, as grown-ups, they can’t tattle to an adult, so they tattle to the adult-adults, by calling 911.

Tomatoes are gross. Keep those limp, flavorless, mushy things off my burger. Unless it’s get a fresh, local tomato, I’ll go without, thanks.  

You’re not the boss of me.

Is it Nhilist Arby’s? The answer is Nihilist Arby’s.

I’m free Saturday.

Defeat the hair, before the hair defeats you.

Like all revenge stories on reddit, this is definitely a true thing that happened.

Hot Pie sits on the Iron Throne.  

Like I’m going to use band aids that don’t have dinosaurs on them.

I think I can safely say that whatever side Fox News and Daily Mail are on, the correct side is the other one.  

Does this mean hot dog is a soup?

Is that a space dragon? I miss the 90s.  

My dad says this is why it’s important to have three hardware stores in town, to save the embarrassment of going back to the same store.

Simpsons did it.

What happened to the envelopes the hotels would leave for tipping the housekeepers? 

They played the NFC North and AFC west last season, and that didn’t stop them from winning the Superbowl.

Makes sense. 13 teams have to play the Patriots, some of them more than once, some even have to play them on the road! But who never has to play the Patriots? The Patriots. Think about it.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Dark chocolate Ghirardelli squares, Hershey’s Kisses, Whatchamacallit bar.