To be fair, befriending Hillary is the one thing Pompeo could do to get the Republican rank and file to turn on him.

They’re not the same person?

Maybe he was hanging out with T. J. Miller.

Dark Chocolate reeses is the bomb.

I want a colossal donut, just like the one on the sign.

Waiting for the “Turn left where there used to be a Pizza Hut.” option.

NECCO wafers and Moxie soda belong to that subcategory of “weird foods enjoyed by New Englanders who are predestined to hate joy.” It’s the same impulse that makes us think that Maine is a suitable place to go for summer vacation.

The fondue craze was a marketing ploy put on by the Swiss Cheese Cartel to sell more cheese to Americans:

Probably because they added booze.

Why do so many restaurants insist on ruining a perfectly good burger with a mushy slice of tomato and a wilted piece of lettuce? At least put that stuff on the side so I can pretend it’s a salad I didn’t eat.

Tokyo Drift introduces Han. I need no other arguments to prove it’s superiority.

I’m just saying it like it is.

I have long held the theory that people who describe themselves as “direct” and “honest” are just assholes. So, maybe that’s why he got fired.

They really missed the mark by putting the coffee products on the “Sweet” side and the desserts on the “Jesus” side.

Is there any way we could make life feel more like a sci-fi dystopia?

What about non-animal sculptures?

Trader Joe’s Sriracha & Roasted Garlic BBQ. It’s not traditional in any way, but screw tradition.  

Oblivion is another good movie in the under-appreciated “Sci-Fi movies in which Tom Cruise dies a lot” genre.

Who among us hasn’t mixed up port and starboard? Remember, port, like left, has four letters; while starboard, like right, does not.

We could be snarky and cynical and say Wayne’s superpower is his blindness to variety