That headline is one word away from an Onion Headline.

How Portland.

Feb 3, 2002.

It's harder to be friends than lovers. And you shouldn't try and mix the too. Because if you do it and you're still unhappy, you know the problem is you.

Things I miss about New England: Drinking dd iced coffee in zero degree weather.

Flat white can only achieve it's optimum flavor profile when served in an engraved coffee thermos.

It's about ethics in baseball journalism.

Those are breadsticks.

I did too. I blame Civilization. (The video game, not the concept.)

I'm sure they have the policy based on an erroneous belief that it limits Reddit's liability.

Apparently it's a reddit thing on the /r/tTalesFromYourServer subreddit, where posts aren't allowed to identify the restaurant by name. While it doesn't fool anybody, it does fool webcrawlers

If there is another way to be served ranch dressing, I'd rather not know about it.

I used to work at an "Italian" restaurant which I won't name—rhymes with "Shmolive Garden"

Does crunchy have gluten it in? Cause I can't look at gluten.

Go home and watch it right now. Your boss will understand.

As long as it's not red. I'm allergic to the color red.

Could have used more vegan options.

Missing from the list: Everything by Georgia Florida Line. Even the stuff that didn't come out this year. So awful it transcends time.

Takes one to know one.

I do not know how to feel about this. I am highly suspicious.