That picture on the left is the cutest non-kitten picture ever taken.

As a thirty year old man with a thigh gap, my life is miserable

Everyone watch this:

I was in church earlier today - a health scare at lent can do that to a formerly faithful communicant. The gospel reading was the one where Jesus talks about the final judgement and the separation of the sheep based on what they did for the "least of mine".

You're almost right. We're all assholes.

I wrote dating as "daying" because fat thumbs on a phone and then hit enter before realizing my iPhone had corrected it to "saying". When I tried to edit it my fat thumb accidentally closed the conversation, and I couldn't find it again. So my dumb joke was ruined and my thumbs were shamed and I don't really thinking…

I usually say "yeah, I wish it was bigger too"

You realize you're saying an asshole, right?

She is definitely overhyped and I don't really care for Girls, but she has done a pretty impressive job of capturing a particular kind of awful privileged white person. Her characters could've been one note punchlines in lesser hands, but they are also relatable or at least believable as human beings. That takes…

Every day that miley cyrus isn't femdoming me is absolute torture.

I didn't mean for this to be so big

What really bothers me about this is that no one remembered to punch the little assholes who were cheering this on. Yeah, yeah never solves anything, but it can be so very satisfying

Maybe you need to take a broader view of one of those terms instead of judging the coherency of a complete stranger's identity

It certainly sounds cooler than the "chronic masturbators" conventions I go to

Dude, calm down. I'm gross, and I'm still fine getting naked for sex. I just know that my body isn't enticing anybody. That's why I tell lies.

I thought her apology was great until I got to the last two lines. Unexpected emotional roller coaster

Finally I will be able to sexually satisfy a woman! Or at least be in the vicinity!

Oh shit, I did as well. Mine was something along the lines of me admitting I was ok with her spitting incident and she replied and said it was taken out of context and that she was embarrassed. Highlight of my stupid life.

See the thing is, while every woman can be sexy and only about 2-3% of men are eve remotely attractive. For the other 97-98% of us all attempts end in comedy. You can't argue with me on this because my use of statistics make it science