I dig Bradley Cooper. I'd like to go drink some beers with him and speak French with him (me badly, him fluently). I'd also like to finally figure out if he's really into dudes, which I think he is, and which I'm totally down with because if I can't have him I'd rather he be hooked up with a nice guy, maybe the…

John Goodman and Zach Galafinakis.

GUYS AND DOLLLSSS WE'RE JUST A BUNCHA CRAZY GUYS AND DOLLSS

And then can we talk about having people like Benedict Cumberbatch reading lyrics from the new R. Kelly album for Jimmy Kimmel is deeply not cool, and it just ends up creating further distancing from R. Kelly's atrocities and allows the internet to fawn without consideration? Because ugh. :|

As a gay man I can say you're completely wrong, and also you're fat

It's all Justin Timberlake's fault. He brought sexy back and now this schism happens. He's like the Martin Luther of sexy.

Great, now I'm hungry *and* horny.

I wish I was Michael Ian Black's best friend. I wish I love the 80's and 90's was 100% Michael Ian Black.

"THE WAY SHE TASTES?!" Are you kidding me Fitz?

Dear Shonda,

But will he sing Darling Nikki?

The one and only time Megyn Kelly insists a Middle Eastern dude is white.

This is how I feel about Taye and Idina breaking up:

Did you really need it restored? Kids are actually pretty damn awesome when you give them the chance. It's adults who muck everything up.

Keep up the good work with your niece, Brassy.

My niece (age 2 1/2) grabbed her toy laptop and told me she had a business to run the other day. Go, little ladies, go!

I'm starting to feel bad for the other boys in One Direction. I mean, yeah Harry is adorable, I have a little inappropriate crush too (ref: 33yo straight woman, Canada) but it seems like the media is so focussed on him. I'm sure they're all just as deserving of inappropriate crushes.

Sorry, can't hear you.

Is dueling still a thing? BECAUSE I WOULD DUEL THE FUCK OUT OF YOU LINDY FOR TALKING SHIT ABOUT TENNIS. Pistols at dawn.

Continue on but also be aware that you don't know a lot about him having only met once plus divorce is extremely stressful situation which can change in a heartbeat. I met my partner on dating website and he was still in process of getting a divorce (separated for 4 years not living together) but it was contentious…