Wait—I thought this was Marilyn Manson without makeup:

Oh are we picking most barf worthy sentences? I'd like to nominate this guy:

You deserve a cookie for reading that entire thing. My eyes glazed over by the TL;DR summation.

Sure, everyone poops on Oreos, but nobody says a word when Shaquille O'Neal endorses Bag O'Glass.

I was discussing this just last night with a coworker. I have a theater degree, she has a combination French/Art History one. We both work at a phone center taking pizza orders. She's going to cosmetology school so she can earn enough doing hair to pay for getting her master's, which she needs to even be considered…

If you're ever at a frat party, and you see some guy in a miner's helmet with the little light turned on... run. You do not want to see what he does with that pickaxe in his pocket.

This is pitiful, obnoxious, and totally inaccurate.

As Mr. Peterson well knows, there are no "7E's of HOOKING UP" for frat kids at Georgia Tech. There are merely 4:

(1) Encounter (spot a girl or group of girls)

Only Prince can convey how disgusted I am by this

Thanks Matt! Now to all you ladies on the receiving end of this mack and yuck fest, might we recommend the following:

Did it address when/why she transformed into a muppet?

Plus, her septum hasn't completely collapsed.

God, I wanted a cigarette so bad after watching this the other night. Now I get why they don't allow cigarette commercials anymore.

I've never been more upset about not being home on a saturday night.

I don't like morning sex. Not only is my breath stinky and I'm covered in a layer of sleep residue, he has stinky breath and is covered in a layer of sleep sweat. I do, however, love afternoon sex. The best is when it's a sunny day and you're feeling a little drowsy, like it's nap time, and you have sex and take a…

I'm usually on the laptop, TV on whatever, and checking my phone constantly. And if a website dares take more than 4 seconds to load, I'm Command-T'ing up a new tab to find something else. It's because I'm desperately afraid to be alone with my thoughts. Dedicated meditation helps. Everyone should meditate 20 minutes…

yes! It worries me sometimes that just watching TV or a movie isn't enough anymore. I feel weird not constantly also looking at things online...

Oh, yes. If I stop and think about it, I really am in front of a screen all day long. It's depressing...which is why I don't think about it ;)

Yeah, Gretchen, you can tell us, we won't tell anyone.

I've had people literally back away slowly from me when I casually mention that I have OCD, another anxiety disorder, and depression. I don't know how ya'll with BPD or Schizophrenia deal with people because I've had the urge to smack people who state that people with "more serious" mental illnesses are dangerous.